what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
