So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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