Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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