Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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