people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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