Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize