No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i barfeds in our rink
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
