Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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