Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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