I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
