dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize