I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She bit a glass in half.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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