We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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