we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
