bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
