He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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