I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
