I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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