kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize