Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
