I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
