Texts From Last Night

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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  Where are you?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  A place I should not be.

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  (623): Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors. (1-623): Where are you? (623): A place I should not be. http://tfl.nu/jfq9
  Replies (19) Good night (3987) Bad night (750)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

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  (480): I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows http://tfl.nu/5bqe
  Replies (21) Good night (6200) Bad night (825)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

  (1405): View more from

  I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

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  (405): If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie. (1405): I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes? http://tfl.nu/u9sc
  Replies (47) Good night (10437) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this

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  (864): Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this http://tfl.nu/9hno
  Replies (9) Good night (4607) Bad night (1445)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Every perfect package comes with a warning label.

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  (330): Every perfect package comes with a warning label. http://tfl.nu/x7rd
  Replies (25) Good night (3947) Bad night (1293)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.

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  (281): Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others. http://tfl.nu/smz5
  Replies (6) Good night (3664) Bad night (894)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.

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  (423): I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/w5jl
  Replies (5) Good night (4307) Bad night (1484)
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  (530): View more from California

  We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."

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  (530): We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out." http://tfl.nu/0tb5
  Replies (3) Good night (3786) Bad night (1015)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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  (425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d
  Replies (7) Good night (1777) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.

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  (317): If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga. http://tfl.nu/uvum
  Replies (2) Good night (977) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.

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  (516): I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/c92d
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (368)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls

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  (908): Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls http://tfl.nu/2qe0
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (633)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??

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  (317): He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten?? http://tfl.nu/i55l
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (615)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.

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  (248): I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills. http://tfl.nu/08dn
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (301)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole

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  (717): I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole http://tfl.nu/gmo5
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (126)

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