Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?

(1-716): View more from New York

I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her

(716): View more from New York

Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild

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(716): So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go? (1-716): I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her (716): Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild http://tfl.nu/mosz

Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (702)
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(937): View more from Ohio

He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

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(937): He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night" http://tfl.nu/9y6d

Replies (9) Good night (4059) Bad night (873)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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(704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op

Replies (11) Good night (4618) Bad night (688)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.

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(781): I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots. http://tfl.nu/2a1b

Replies (23) Good night (956) Bad night (4063)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

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(404): I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck. http://tfl.nu/f2m7

Replies (45) Good night (25848) Bad night (1302)
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(989): View more from Michigan

It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.

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(989): It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat. http://tfl.nu/ln17

Replies (28) Good night (5951) Bad night (1323)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.

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(651): pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there. http://tfl.nu/jyzf

Replies (6) Good night (2885) Bad night (807)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know

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(608): I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know http://tfl.nu/g581

Replies (7) Good night (2099) Bad night (936)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.

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(267): Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees. http://tfl.nu/ugpg

Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (2152)
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(541): View more from Oregon

ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

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(541): ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack http://tfl.nu/jnxf

Replies (7) Good night (896) Bad night (1425)
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(276): View more from Virginia

They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?

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(276): They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends? http://tfl.nu/rjha

Replies (8) Good night (1587) Bad night (773)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.

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(479): They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora. http://tfl.nu/rpdd

Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (279)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.

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(859): Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy. http://tfl.nu/uf16

Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (267)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn

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(717): You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn http://tfl.nu/rxu4

Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (266)
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(805): View more from California

We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...

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(805): We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians... http://tfl.nu/wh6c

Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (218)

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