jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need help removing her.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.