Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
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Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon