Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
This beer is not sobering me up at all
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
