I seem to have left my pride at pride
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
