I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
