Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
