Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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