i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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