while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think i got beer on your cat.
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