It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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