okay pat passed out under dana's car
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
