wat bout pragnant strippers??
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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