Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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