so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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