so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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