wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
