I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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