If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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