i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
