if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
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Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
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nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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