Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
