i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
