When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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