sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
