so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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