Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize