oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
