I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
