my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
