if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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