Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
