meet me or not, i'm out of control
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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