Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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