we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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