I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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