i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Randomize
