Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
