I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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