Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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