Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
