Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
