It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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