he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
