And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
